by Lalith Gunaratne

When I first heard about the Shambhala Institute’s summer program a few months ago, I thought I needed to be there, even though it was taking place on the other side of the world, far from my home in Sri Lanka. I was particularly drawn to the module “Embodied Leadership: A Practice for Presence, Confidence and Compassion” led by Wendy Palmer. So I got on a plane and traveled for over 30 hours to arrive in beautiful Halifax.

At the welcome reception I was amazed at the openness and the warmth I felt from anyone I made eye contact with. It was so un-occidental. Everyone I spoke to that evening seemed to be doing something interesting with their lives and was curious about mine. I was high on the energy that surrounded us, and as the days went by, our hearts continued to open.

I was also impressed by the contradictions – the content was serious and the concepts and ideas were presented in a professional way, but at the same time a thread of fun and light-heartedness ran through the week. Insights came in waves and particles all the time. One moment something was there to grab onto and the next it all melted away… then it was there again.

I discovered that my module was based on “Conscious Embodiment,” a technique developed by Wendy Palmer from her Aikido and mindfulness practice, and designed to help us respond to pressure in a more skillful way. It is about centering ourselves as opposed to acting from our personality, enveloped by ego, succumbing to low-level energy stemming from our fears. To center is to become aware of our breath, feel the support of gravity and space around us. We balance our field of energy by aligning the mind, heart and belly through presence, so we focus on the strength of our hara (in our belly). This way we become skillful in dealing with our daily trials and tribulations.     

This is a powerful tool for me as a trainer. I also learned about two energetic shapes: the circle, used to hear and listen authentically, and the wedge, used to advocate skillfully.

I started practicing and applying the form immediately. I became conscious of the space and energy I maintain around me, and how I can support myself in both circle and wedge modes. I started noticing myself dealing with difficult situations differently – more skillfully. 

Managing Airport Stress

Airports are a usual source of stress for me, having had a few encounters over the years in the hands of nasty customs officers. Even though these negative encounters were few and far between, worry would start gnawing at me well before the plane started its descent. 

This time when I landed back in Colombo, I wanted to be more skillful.  When the usual worry came to mind, I immediately concentrated on the present and centered to find myself in a different head space–a cooler one–and sailed through customs with friendly greetings on all sides. A week later, I was on a plane again, this time to Africa. First stop was Nairobi, and I picked my bag from the belt,  concentrated on my breath, felt the earth support me, and focused on my hara. Lo and behold, I sailed through customs with friendly greetings from the same officers who were hauling others over to check their bags. 

Okay, maybe I was lucky. So I tested my practice again in Malawi’s Lillongwe Kimuzu airport.  Once again, I stopped behind a group of young American travelers who were being asked to open their bags. To my delight I was waved through, only to be stopped again by a police officer by the exit.  “I have been cleared by that officer over there,” I pointed.  “Hey, she is a different section, this is security…open your bags,” he growled.  As I was opening my bag, to my surprise he smiled and said, “It’s okay, go….welcome to Malawi.”  

As I began to reflect on all this, I found a common thread. I was not getting worried anymore about customs as I would before.  My centering also helped me to be more present in the moment.  My concentration relaxed me and I seem to radiate a more positive and a friendly vibe which got returned to me in heaps.  I continued this process consciously as I met new people throughout the trip and was able to put myself and them at immediate ease which often led to wonderful conversations.

Using the Practice in my Training

After I returned to Colombo, I ran the second part of a Negotiations Skills program for the Columbia Sportswear Team based in Sri Lanka. I got feedback this time that I struck many chords as I listened to the daily challenges they face in their difficult business.  Maybe I was listening and understanding more authentically with my circle.

This time I was also more skilful when I advocated with my imaginary wedge that negotiation is about building relationships and not just getting the best deal at all costs. This was difficult for them to accept at a practical level, as they are under tremendous cost and time pressures. Previously in role plays they would revert to old bad habits.  However, this time we witnessed a higher level of conversation. They realized that it was better not to be aggressive and dominate, but rather to be open and honest, and to find the best deal for both sides.   

A few days ago I met some of the key members of the Columbia team, now three weeks since their session. I found that a lasting impression had been made, and they were indeed well on their way to creating a different, higher-level philosophy on negotiations, based on trust and relationships. I am again reinforced in my conviction that the Conscious Embodiment work had a positive impact on my training skills.

Working with Teachers and Youth

I am sure the way I ran my training programs with the Malawian teachers and young leaders last week embodied my new way of listening and advocating. They told me that the usual power differential between the trainer and the trainees was not there. They said that I was genuinely intertwined with them in the process. I was mindfully practicing Conscious Embodiment by opening my personal space and inviting the incoming energy of those 20 young leaders, which I found very refreshing. They have very little by way of material things in their lives, but their spirit, confidence, eagerness to learn and genuine love gave me hope for the future of Africa.

Back with the Family

Back at home, I have been taking every opportunity to teach Conscious Embodiment to my partner, Samantha, and my children. The first reaction of my two teenagers was, “Here we go again, Dad preaching about some pie-in-the-sky theory.” 

Yet I found an opportunity to show Natalya, our 15-year-old daughter, how she could become more skillful in dealing with her parents, siblings, and friends by centering.  I was not sure she listened, but to my surprise, when I brought it up in the presence of Samantha the next day, she said, “I know, Dad… circle to listen and wedge to advocate….Yes I am working on getting centered, Dad.”  I was impressed.

And finally…

Everything I learned with Wendy Palmer, Steve Clorfeine in his creative process workshop, the other sessions, and all the wonderful conversations I had with so many interesting people, reinforced for me that there is a place to be positive, open, kind, and generous.  This gives me strength as I live in Colombo in the midst of so much fear. Here I see people with guns everywhere, though no one is sure who is guarding whom.  

There is still much hope for humanity, as we as individuals have the capacity to respond to any situation skillfully by practicing presence, confidence and compassion, first to ourselves, then to all other beings and to nature around us.  Conscious Embodiment is a wonderful technique I have added to my toolkit for dealing with this journey called life.

Thank you Shambhala Institute!!
May all beings be well and happy!!!

Lalith Gunaratne
Sage Training (Pvt) Ltd
www.sagetraining.org
E Mail: Lalith@sagetraining.org
Mobile: +94-777-283837